which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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