you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize