dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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