margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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