Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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