I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
