I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
