I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
