that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
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You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
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Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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