ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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