I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
