so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
