Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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