so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
pray to the hookup gods
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
