Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Girls should come with a carfax report
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
