okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
