he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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