the condom got lost in my hair
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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