My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
