you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
