I swear she didn't look like that last week.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my being single is dangerous.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
