I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
