none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
