Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
two words...techno handjob
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he laminated a picture of his dick.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
