JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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