so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
someone owes me an orgasm
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
