maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
