I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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