Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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