found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
