I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When are your genitals available?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
