Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Randomize
