Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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