oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You pole danced in your parka.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
