it wasn't lemon gatorade
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i think my mom watched the whole time
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
