Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
