He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
