Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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