Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
