I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
