nutella sex= disaster
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
