do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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