she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
