We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
