Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
