i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
