Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
