and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
