i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
