what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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