i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
