And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
