So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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