Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
