im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
