My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
