Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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