I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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