where am i from again
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize