You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
