Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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