After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
this just has baby written all over it
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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