You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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