Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
The ass gains better be worth it
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