I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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