I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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