we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
