from now on my penis is your penis
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize