im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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